Toilet Humour

Ace ♠

The Nutsacker Suite

Just in time for the holidays, tree balls.

 

This Bauballs ornament was the brainchild of the Orchid Testicular cancer organization. Legit! Sadly, to me it looks more like Elmo's shaved ass cheeks.

Speaking of tree ornaments.

That's more like it.

Ace ♠

Prince William Tipping Strippers at His Bachelor Party

It's gotta be weird stuffing money into a stripper's bikini, when every bill has a photo of your grandmother printed on it.

Ace ♠

Rob 'Blasko' Nicholson or Derek Smalls

OK, now that the fog has cleared from the Ozzy concert, I'm starting to recall some of the more humorous moments from that night. This tops the list.

As we were watching the show (we were stage right - left if you're in the audience) and closer to Rob 'Blasko' Nicholson (Ozzy's new bassist) and my buddy says to me "Hey, is it just me or does Ozzy's bassist look like Derek Smalls from Spinal Tap!"

I looked again... and said "Holy F#ck, ya... he does!"

Are we nuts or do you see the similarity as well? C'mon... even if you're the biggest Ozzy/Blasko fan in the world, ya gotta admit... Harry Shearer's (the actor who portrays Smalls), character is all-but Blasko ringer.

Given that this is the Motörheadster  Blog, you should know... Rob includes Lemmy/Motorhead as one of his influences... sadly, not Smalls!

On that note, I leave you with a quote from the man himself.


Derek Smalls: "We're very lucky in the band in that we have two visionaries, David and Nigel. They're like poets, like Shelley and Byron. They're two distinct types of visionaries, it's like fire and ice, basically. I feel my role in the band is to be somewhere in the middle of that, kind of like lukewarm water".

Ace ♠

Bark at 'The 3 Wolf' Moon

I Love it. When I saw Jack Black wearing this Three Wolf Moon T-shirt, I crapped my drawers I was laughing so hard!

Tenacious D (Jack and his comedic partner) performed at the 2009 Comedy Death Ray Christmas Show. Snaps courtesy: Robyn Von Swank

But apparently... it's not a joke or simply a part of his act.

He actually likes the shirts. I don't know where this photo was taken (or when) but it's gold!

All right, now as for this pic of U.S. President Barack Obama wearing the 3WM shirt, ya... it's photo shopped.

Here's the original. But hey, to be honest... I think he looks good in that wolf shirt.

How did I get on this topic?!?! I mean, I'm not sure why I'm writing about a stupid Wolf & Moon T-shirt, but people love em'!

I can't believe how popular they are. You may remember it became the hottest seller for Amazon.com after a fictitious comment posted by a university student.

(more photo shopped images)

And ABC World News did a report on the popularity of the shirts which helped pump up sales.

BBC News spoke with the CEO of The Mountain (the company that owns and prints the T's).

Check it, here are some other celebrities wearing Wolf Shirts.

Scarlett Johansson. Ya... but she doesn't count cause she can wear anything she wants and it'll look great (just look at that picture).

Here's Dwight, from 'The Office', wearing his 3-WM shirt. Dwight is trying to convince Michael of the virtues of the shirt.

And finally... from the 'You gotta' be kiddin' me file, here's a 3WM tattoo I found.

Wow. I don't know what else to say.

Ace ♠

Killed by a Cover

Whoa, this is bad!

I don't mean to be rude but... I can't play a guitar or sing a lick, but I'm not gonna make a YouTube video to prove it.

Actually, the guy can play the guitar. As for his singing... you be the judge.

What did I say... it's bad. He shoulda' kept whistling!

Ace ♠

This is Ass-tacular!

The email said, I was chosen to receive a blessing from the Snow Fairy. Nice.

If you ask me... I'd say this guy lost a bet!



I wonder if he cleared the driveway as well?

Ace ♠

I Am A Canucklehead

I got a kick out of this. A buddy sent it to me and I'm under the impression it's an old whiskey or beer ad, converted into a email.

Here's the ad.

Hey, I'm not a lumberjack, or a fur trader.

I don't live in an igloo or eat blubber, or own a dogsled.... and I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada, although I'm certain they're really really nice.

I have a Prime Minister, not a president.

I speak English and French, not American.

And I pronounce it 'about', not 'a boot'.

I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack.

I believe in peace keeping, not policing, diversity not assimilation and that the beaver is a truly proud and noble animal.

I drink Rye whiskey not sour mash.

A toque is a hat, a chesterfield is a couch... and it is pronounced 'zed' not 'zee', 'zed'!

Canada is the second largest landmass! The first nation of hockey!

And the best part of North America!

My name is Ace!

And I AM CANADIAN!

To my Canadian readers... it hits the nail on the head.

To those in the UK... you know exactly how we Canucks feel.

To my American readers... hey lighten up, it's a joke.

To those Islamic extremists who don't give a rat's a$$ who they blow up... F&%k you!

Ace ♠

Dick Head Drivers

It happens to all of us.

You're driving along just minding your own business, when all of a sudden and without any warning, this DICK in a truck pulls out right in front of you.


.
Man... he's got balls!

Ace ♠

A Shitty New Honda

On the heels of Cycle Source's Best of 2009 list, which includes the Harley-Davidson 883 Iron as best manufactured bike... the Iron may have some competition next year.

This is the Poover. It's a modified Honda 125 scooter that sucks up dog $hit. I kid you not.

The specially adapted Honda allows the rider to spray the K-9 poo with a special soapy formula, then vacuum it up.

The excrement is sucked into a 25 liter holding cell attached to the back of the bike.

The Township of Islington in North London actually bought it's Poover in November and there's a write up on the scoot in motorcyclenews.com. That's right, I'm not making this up.

The bike's model number is SH125i. Ya, I know what you're thinkin', that's just too tempting!

Anybody got an exacto knife and a Sharpie handy?

Ace ♠

Best Christmas Decorations Ever!!!

I'm thinkin' of doing this next season.

I don't know how old this is. I don't know if it's legit. Hell, I don't even know where it comes from... but it's awesome!

Yup, it's a dummy dressed up and hangin' from the eavestrough. Brilliant! The ladder and string of lights left unattached is a very nice touch as well.

Ace ♠

Leedin' Ya to the Pit

Maybe it's the mood I'm in... but I have no idea why I find this so funny. The video itself isn't that bad (clarity/quality). The sound is pretty good as well. I guess it's the fact the dude who shot this, was in the pit at a Motörhead concert and was working his a$$ off to try and hold his shot nice and steady. And he did rather well.

**VIDEO WARNING**

Take a gravol before you watch this.



Ace ♠

Crazy Lego Hot Rods

I'm a car nut, so when I found these pretty cool Lego creations, I had to post them. No... I'm not a Lego geek, I just thought this guy did a great job and deserved the props.

Here's his Lego version of a 1966 Ford Bronco.

The real thing... not bad huh?

How bout' this Lego Mazda RX-7.



The real thing.

Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder

And ta da... human size.

These pics came from Dylan Denton photostream on flickr. Funny, I never really played with Lego as a kid, and now... I like it!?!? Weird.

Ace ♠